


Megatron’s Biggest Fan/Regret

by Nitrobot



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: And wants to turn into a giant woman (a giant woman), Crazy obsessed fangirl finally tracks down her one true love, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 11:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11920455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/Nitrobot
Summary: Even Megatron was once young and dumb- dumb enough to marry his stalker, before coming to his senses and shoving her in a freezer for a few centuries.Starscream thaws her out just to torment him.





	Megatron’s Biggest Fan/Regret

**Author's Note:**

> When I first heard about Megatronia like a year ago I thought it was really stupid like a lot of things in modern TF canon, but then I actually looked up who all the members were from their Unite Warriors strip and now I would defend each and every one of them with my life- except maybe Lunarclub cause her taste in men is terrible.
> 
> (It's bad when the Japan exclusive repaint is more likeable than the original… coughVictorioncough)

Megatron was already having a bad day, wasting his time practically half-melted into the glorified slab of metal he had to call a throne, when Starscream and his only slightly more tolerable brothers approached.

“My lord.” Starscream bowed with so much exaggerated respect that he knew he'd get away with only a weary roll of optics from Megatron. “We have a prisoner to present.”

It wasn't quite as dreary as his earlier appointments, like breaking up yet another fight between Rumble and Frenzy over their armour colours, but Megatron wasn't so out of it that he trusted anything Starscream had to ‘present’. “Get on with it then.”

Starscream bowed again, too quickly for Megatron to take a swipe at the smug look coating his face, and made a motion to Skywarp standing by the door. He in turn motioned to Thundercracker waiting outside, who seemed to be restraining someone from trying to leap right over him. Once Thundercracker actually brought her in sight, Megatron’s spark collapsed as its other half spotted him. He hadn't even thought of her since she was confined to stasis, not until he heard that shrill, pining voice.  
It was like looking in a cracked mirror, if that mirror was full of squealing nightmares. 

“My dear husband! The Emperor of Destruction himself!” Megaempress tried to clap her hands despite the heavy cuffs clamped around her wrists, while Megatron tried to pierce his own skull with his claws as he rubbed them hard against his bowed forehelm.

 _‘Oh, for Primus’ sake…’_ But Primus wasn't likely to give him any mercy now, and especially not Starscream as he made no effort to hide the grin that consumed most of his face.

“Apparently she and her fellow gestalts been brought in long ago, my liege,” the insufferable Seeker said, practically oozing glee at watching his leader grimace. “She was trying to… seduce the guards into letting her inside Darkmount. It almost worked, but they soon came to their senses and branded her as nothing more than a delusional vagrant. Just as well I spotted her sulking in her cell.” Starscream could barely keep his wings still, as if daring Megatron to strike him like he was so sorely tempted. 

“I had been told Shockwave put her in cryo-stasis with _strict orders_ not to release her,” Megatron growled, pulling his twitching claws into a fist to stop him slicing them right across Starscream’s face as he watched the prisoner still struggle against Thundercracker and Skywarp’s attempts to keep her back. 

“Unhand me this instant, you hideous winged peasants! I must tend to my husband at once!” Though their time apart had frayed at their ill-advised spark bond enough that Megatron barely felt her anguish, it had also made her even more rabid than he remembered.

“Femmes can be very sneaky, my liege,” Starscream put forth as he watched Megaempress snap at his brothers, as if he really thought Megatron would ever trust a word out of his mouth. “If they're all in a combiner team, even more so. Besides, Shockwave has been _otherwise_ occupied with his pet experiments. Perhaps he let his guard down and never reported her disappearance…” 

Even if he didn't sound so pleased with himself, Starscream had just made himself the prime suspect for Megaempress’ release. The Seeker knew full well that Megaempress and her court were far more trouble than they were currently worth. But, most of all, he knew that despite how Megatron cursed and complained, he'd never outright kill her, and not just because of the link between their sparks. Not when her obsession was the closest thing he’d ever get to true loyalty around here.

Still, he'd rather have traitors who knew when to follow orders than fanatics who fooled themselves into thinking they knew what he wanted. It was the only reason the likes of Starscream were still alive, and the only reason he'd put her aside in the first place.

“Calm yourself down, woman.” Megatron barely finished the command before Megaempress instantly obeyed, now sedated like an addict doused in her choice drug. She looked dazed and dreamy enough to make Megatron almost suspect one of the Seekers of slipping something into her fuel lines- not that he would have complained.

“I'm just so happy to see you after so long, my beloved.” If not for the hefty cuffs on her wrists she might have put her hands up to her cheeks as they flooded with a bright blush. Now that Megatron was finally noticing her, she paid no attention to the snickering Seekers on either side of her, and completely ignored that her ‘beloved’ did not share her relief. 

“I see you're… still alive, Megaempress.“ Megatron wasn't surprised by that, not with how resilient her kind proved to be. As usual, he'd just hoped all his problems would fade away all by themselves. He couldn't even force a snarl around her name, mainly because he never really believed it was her real designation. It only uncomfortably reminded him of how he adopted Megatronus from his gladiator days.

“Of course, my love!” Megaempress’ spark seemed to beam right out of her optics. “I would never leave you all alone in the universe. Ever since I escaped Shockwave’s grasp I've been tirelessly trying to find you!” Megatron didn't doubt that, not when he'd personally witnessed her hurl drones off the top of Darkmount just for bringing him warm energon. It took three of such occasions for drones to avoid the fortress’ command center entirely, and to convince Megatron to put her in storage. 

“What's with all the guards, dear?” Megaempress acted like she'd only just noticed the mechs bristling at all corners of the room, Vehicons cowering near pillars and still remembering the fates of friends who got between her and her husband. “And these ugly shackles!” She shook and rattled them with disgust. “You know I'm not going to try and escape. Not with you right here!” She tried to surge towards him, but Thundercracker held her back with a strategic servo on the nape of her neck (though he was almost thrown forwards with the force she was pulling with).

Megatron looked at her for no longer than another nanoklick, before regretfully turning his attention to his SIC as he stewed in his leader’s torment. 

“Starscream... why have you brought her here?” He had a very good idea of why, but he wanted to see what excuse the smirking slagger had ready to deploy. 

“You're always complaining about lack of _loyalty_ , my liege.” Starscream knew full well he was the main source of those complaints, and he barely tried to hide it. “Here we have a soldier already _truly_ devoted to you. And her team is hardly any less reliable than the gestalts we already have.”

Megatron growled, looking back at the restrained femme and her lovesick smile only because it was more tolerable than anything Starscream had to offer. He was right, as much as Megatron hated to admit it. Their war with the Autobots was at a stalemate, simply because his soldiers were too focused on fighting each other than anyone else. The days of working towards a better Cybertron were long gone, swept away the very instant Optimus Prime was given the Matrix. Now the only goal was to survive longer than anyone else and take whatever was left over. 

Megaempress, a delusion-drenched femme he only bonded with because he thought it would at least put her on a leash, was not the solution, and Starscream didn't see her as one. Like every other slag-sucking scavenger in the Decepticons, he just wanted to cause some chaos and climb victorious out of it. 

Megatron didn't take long to reach his verdict. “Take her away.”

Starscream shrugged, only feigning slight disappointment, as he motioned to his brothers while they tried to stop Megaempress desperately clambering over them.

“B-But… but, my Emperor! No one else can serve you like I can! I’ve been imprisoned for vorns, by your most treacherous officers! I overheard all their plans, every single plot against you!” She was dragged almost to the door when Megatron raised a hand at the Seekers, a signal to stop. Once she was calmed, he made another motion to bring her close again.

“...Is that so?” he asked slowly, catching Starscream's expression out the corner of his narrowed optic. All his pride had started to leak away as soon as Megaempress made her plea, and now he looked at her like she was a plasma vent about to overflow. 

Megaempress must have caught her leader’s glance as she grinned again, as if she knew exactly what kind of position she was in all thanks to Starscream’s incompetence. “For instance; I know Skywarp was the one who stole all your secure datapads, and Shockwave’s been trying to break dimensional barriers by misusing his technology, and Starscream’s been annoying the energon dispensing mech which is why he isn’t working anymore-!”

Megatron raised his hand again to silence her, smiling with each spilled secret no matter how minor it was. Skywarp already looked like a petrorabbit trapped in headlights, just for stealing datapads or perhaps anticipating something even worse to come out? Either way, he didn't waste time in escaping while he could, vanishing with nothing more than a shimmer in the air. Megatron could deal with him later, when he’d squeezed every rumour and plot out of Megaempress’ pretty little processor. He hasn't even considered using her as a personal informant… which was where he might have went wrong in the first place.

“On second thought… perhaps you would be better suited here than languishing away in a cell. Thundercracker, release her restraints.”

Megaempress blinked, looking at each of the mechs around her as they in turn looked at Megatron wondering if the femme’s insanity was somehow infectious. Even Starscream couldn't hide his shock, forced to watch his plan fall apart right before him.  
Every guard in the chamber seemed to flinch simultaneously as Thundercracker warily unlocked the cuffs, jumping backwards as Megaempress hurled herself forwards and landed right in Megatron’s lap as if she was magnetized there, as if she'd never left. He was quickly starting to remember why he'd let her obsession grow so much in the first place- ironically because of how she made his codpiece shrink. 

“ _Eeeeee_! I knew you'd remember our love one day!” Her servos locked tight around Megatron’s neck as she sat heavily on his hips, heedless to any audience left awkwardly watching. Megatron was willing to put up with the embarrassment if it meant thinning out his ranks and snapping some discipline into whoever was left over.

Megaempress pressed her cheek against his, as if trying to kiss him, but she pulled away before Megatron could and brandished a digit towards her jailor. “And you, Thundercracker, I know how you let Flamewar get away during that jailbreak!”

Just like his brothers, Thundercracker perfected the look of utter shock that painted his face. “W-What?! You weren't even imprisoned when that happened!” 

Megatron knew exactly what she was talking about, the assisted escape of an entire cell block, and to this day still hadn’t found the bots at fault for it. If it really was Thundercracker’s doing, he'd deal with him and his brothers later. He brought Megaempress’ attention back with a hand on her cheek. 

“May I ask, my dear… where are your Four Guards?” If she had secrets to tell and worth to be had, who knew what the rest of her entourage could offer? Especially when one of them was a fanatic of her own… he gave another glance at Starscream, who unlike everyone else was too devastated at enacting his own downfall to be disgusted at Megaempress’ affection.

“Oh, they're locked in another set of cells,” she said with a pout. “No one would let me see them because they think we'll just combine and break out…” She sulked as if that wasn't exactly what they would have done, but Megatron easily played along. 

“I see, how terrible... I think it's time for a little reunion, then.” Still holding Megaempress, servo snaked around her waist as she made herself comfortable against his chest and the bright spark she missed so much, Megatron looked over at Thundercracker while he was still caught between denial and damage control of whatever mistake he made.

“Thundercracker? I'll overlook this… accusation for now, if you bring up Lunarclub for us.”

The name alone was enough to have Starscream living up to his namesake. “What?! _No_! Don't bring that rabid _thing_ up here!” He marched up to his brother, but Thundercracker had already snatched up the chance to be off the hook and left Starscream to desperately trail after him.

“What's the matter, Starscream?” Megatron called out. “I thought you'd _enjoy_ a visit from your own personal fanclub.”

“That _would_ be a better name for her, wouldn't it, my love?” Megaempress giggled, and Megatron had to chuckle despite himself.

“Indeed…” He pulled Megaempress’ facee closer, watching her optics for any lies. “Now why don't you tell me all about those traitors that kept you away from me?” 

Megaempress giggled again, and when she spoke Megatron saw no lies, only his own reflection and the severely misguided adoration of a severely delusional femme. 

Down a distant corridor, over the sound of Megaempress’ happily ruining the careers of several high ranking officers, he thought he heard Starscream still screeching at his brother. 

“Thundercracker, don’t you dare bring that little psycho glitch anywhere near me!-”

“Oh _STAAAAARSCREAAAAAM!_ ” 

Too late. Megatron found himself laughing just at the thought, and his wife laughed too just so they'd match.

**Author's Note:**

> In proper canon Megaempress would just be a legitimately delusional soldier who really wants to be Megatron's waifu even though it'll never happen, but I also like thinking Megatron just severely fucked up in his early warmongering maniac days and thought putting his poor choice in love on deep freeze would solve everything.  
> Mostly I just like to torture Megs cause he deserves it.


End file.
